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He wanteda woman who submitted, not because of low self esteem, but because of a desireto be controlled, to be cherished for her submission. Then he found a profilethat he liked and emailed her. She responded and that began a couple of monthsof emails and calls. He knew she was a little larger than he liked but he likedher intelligence, submissiveness and desire to please. He asked for her pictureand liked what he saw. Later, when they finally met, he found that the pictureswere 10 years old and definitely did not match her current looks. In thosemissing 10 years, she had let herself go and thought he wouldn't mind. Well,the new look didn't bother him nearly as much as the dishonesty did. A trueD/s relationship is based on trust and communication. Needless to say, he wasnot willing to begin a relationship based on dishonesty. So he went lookingagain and found the profile of a woman that truly excited him. Her profileshowed that she was 40, divorced, with an average body, and worked. Inside his dull-witted brain he actually found himself questioning thereality of it, unsure at times whether it really was all false; that he'dalways been Burt. Surely that was the case. That was the only thing thatmade sense.But then other times he remembered his life as Ann clearly and he knewthat the Burt history was the lie. This entire life was a lie!Except it wasn't. It was the only thing that truly was real.He had Burt's body. He had Burt's brain. He had Burt's job. He slept inBurt's bed. He lived Burt's life in its entirety.He was Burt. He really really was Burt.And it felt like he always would be.2Seated in the lounge, Lady Ann watched her grandmamma's butler clearingaway a tea tray and newspaper, thinking about the reaffirmation she keptrepeating to herself and wondering if it would have taken effect yet.It had felt entirely wrong at first to keep reiterating that she was ahaughty and domineering woman who cared nothing for the feelings ofothers but it gave her a naughty.
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